There are times in life when I feel like you have to step back and reevaluate what matters most in life. I'm not sure if this is a once a year evaluation, or every few months, or every few years. I believe that when life gets you down, it's time to look at what you're doing to make this life all it can be.
For me, I find that when I'm not taking the time to pray or spend time in the word, this is the time when I feel the most alone and really start to feel down. I'm a spiritual person, and I believe that there has to be something bigger than me in this world. It's how I get through my days. But I find that when things are going well, I tend to drift back into old habits of, "all is well, why do I need to pray today." This is what leads to my mediocre days and eventually back into a rut. That's when I find myself taking a step back and wondering, "how did I end up back here again?" I mean, is there anything worse than ending up somewhere that you didn't like in the first place?!
Tonight I found myself in prayer over recent struggles and things that I have no control over. I feel like lately, I haven't been good enough for me or anyone else around. Like I'm always striving to be perfect, but never quite reach that perfection in others eyes, or my own for that matter. I'm my own worse critic. But I'm doubly hard on myself in comparrison to others. I want to be the best, which I don't think is conceeded or a bad view, but I have to remember that my best has to be good enough for me and that's all that really matters. If I tried my hardest and feel that at the end of the day I gave my best, then I can rest knowing that I'm at my best. God thinks my best is good enough, why can't I believe in myself like he does?! I need to not worry so much about what everyone else thinks about me or my performance, because life isn't about walking on eggshells around everyone else. Who wants to live their life like that?!
Which brings me to a book that I had long forgotten about and found in my box of inspirational books. It's so small that I almost missed it, but I'm so glad I found it. It's called "You are Special" by Max Lucado. It follows the story of a Wemmick named Punchinello. He spends his days getting "dotted" instead of "starred" by his fellow Wemmicks. Until one day he meets a Wemmick with no dots or stars. He decides this is how he wants to be to and finds the secret to true inner happiness. Its's a beautiful child-like story that reminds us all that we are each special. A quote that sticks out in this book is, "The stickers only stick if you let them." I've decided that I'm not going to let the stickers stick anymore. This is my reevaluation in my tough times.
Life isn't about being perfect, it's about being the best you can and knowing that it's good enough. Sometimes, we just have to step back and remember this.