Where's the beef??

Ok, let me start off by saying.... it's been waaayyy too long since I last blogged.  Working, traveling, and oh yeah, having a baby have all happened since my last blog.  So life has gotten busy.  So, baby is cute and almost 2, we moved to a new house, and we have been having sooo many adventures it would bore you to go into all the details.

What has brought me back to my blog recently?  Well, I have recently been very intrigued by the food and diet industry.  So many people these days are trying new products and promoting new diets and pushing to try their programs.  It's like every day I log on to social media, I see a new friend telling me that their product is the "real deal."  And let me say, I have in no way tried all these products or claim to.  I also have no criticism for my friends that sell them.  I'm happy you have found something that works for you and makes you feel incredible.  I'm happy that it is helping you not only physically, but financially as well.  Kuddos to you guys for having the cajones to go out there and try the stuff.

My problem comes in the form of questions.  Genuine curiosity.  I have always been, well, chunky but funky!  Pleasantly plump.  "Mom bod."  These terms have not really bothered me as I just am what I am.  The only time in my life I ever remember being somewhat thinner was when I got married.  I was happy and had time to take care of myself because I only had myself to really take care of.  Now I have a family that I want to care for.  But I'd also like to set an example to my daughter.  And I'd like to find answers to help me in the "great food debate."

A little history of my relationship with food.  I have the best mom in the whole world.  She is a loving, devoted mom.  She worked incredibly hard for us and instilled in me a love for people and wanting to help people.  Because we grew up loving on people, we often neglected ourselves.  Finding food as conveniently as possible.  As a result, I mostly ate fast food and did not tend to venture out in my palate.  I refused Brussel sprouts, I condemned cucumbers, and I would not even touch any type of spinach.  I thought all these food were gross and would even give them a chance on my sacred plate.  Thus, I did not receive any of the nutrition these foods have to offer because my thoughts were, no thank you smelly veggies.

As I have gotten older, I have come to love all kinds of food.  I do not discriminate against really any food.  I love me some sushi, eat my greens when they present themselves, and am always wanting to try new foods.  I'm always watching food shows on tv or finding new recipes in my food network magazine with foods I've never heard of.  Maybe one day, I'll eventually try it all.

Now comes the problem.  I have been a lover of all foods for quite sometime now.  Veggies yes, protein yes, and fruits yes.  But also, the cakes, pies, fried foods, yummy Mexican food, and too many other numerous foods to count.  There always seems to be some kind of event during the week that one can indulge on these "not so healthy foods."  Coworkers birthday, valentine's day.... Friday.  There is always SOMETHING that falls on a day during the week were you just are presented with these foods.  Sometimes I can say no, other times, I'm just pulled into their noxious fumes!!!

You would think that the lack of nutrition and the fact that these foods are soooo unhealthy would deter me from these foods.  The fact that they could shorten my life by clogging my arteries doesn't stop the fork from entering my mouth. I've always been a person whose motto was "life is short, eat the cake," but lately I find myself questioning if I am setting a good example for my daughter.  I was always teased as I was growing up for being, well, fat.  And I DO NOT want her to experience what I did with teasing and bullying.  So I guess I'm asking, where's the "happy medium?"  How do you all see food on a daily basis.  I mean, I know I feel great when I eat the healthy foods (I really like using the nutirbuillet to make healthy shakes), but I also feel like I want the cake sometimes.  Do you guys think there is a link between healthy eating and feeling good?  Do I just suck it up and eat healthy all the time?  Do I indulge in a cheat day? 

I recently watched a documentary called "fat, sick, and nearly dead" on Netflix and it really made me think.  I can relate with feeling fatigue all the time.  And I feel like there is something to adding nutrients to your diet that are good for you health.  But I do not think that juicing is for me.  I have tried a few juices here and there and they all taste like grass to me.  Also I do no believe in supplements.  I just don't have the discipline to take them and I don't want to be dependent on them for the rest of my life.  I have tried a few before and lost weight, but I always gain it back when I stop taking them.  Like I said, I don't want to be dependent on a supplement.

How do you see food?  Is it just a fuel, or do you have an addiction? Do you eat for nutrients or convenience? 


As an ending note, I do enjoy beer and wine.  I will not be giving these beverages up.... ever.  So don't even talk to me about ridding myself of these things.  AIN'T HAPPENING!!!!

Life so far in 2014

Man, I have not gotten the hang of this blogging thing down yet!  I'm like, yep, I'm gonna blog my little heart out.... then I totally go off the grid with it for about oh....6 months.  Guess time has not been on my side lately.

So what's new in 2014 for the Dawkins...

Well, we spent most of January through March traveling and celebrating weddings and festivities with friends.  Vegas was great.... as usual.  In February, went to my beautiful friend Megan's bachlorette party, which was so much fun to be with my friend and celebrate.  Milestone mid february.  Back in 2006, I went skiing with the youth group at my church and broke my old tail bone. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.  Chad, being the amazing man he is, got me to get back up on skis and try it again.  And I only fell a few times.  It was also a great time to spend with great friends just relaxing and enjoying life and the mountains.

March brough about the marriages of 2 of my best friends from college, Kristin and Megan.  I was so great to get to be a part of their big days.  And I'd love to throw in here that being a part of The Rays wedding was another highlight of my december.  I love weddings and it was a special time to get to be a part of these amazing ladies (and gentlemens) days!!

April has been a whirl wind.... literally... lots of wind.  I have been studying for promotional exams and it has got my nerves on edge.  Besides going through the hiring process with the LFD, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I've never really had to study before... always the procrastinator.  But procrastination is not an option for this test.  There's so much information and I feel like my tiny little brain will never remember it all.  It's also hard because I'm putting all this time and effort into studying, and I feel like everyone else in my life has to sacrifice... and in the end, if I don't score high enough, was the sacrifice really worth it.  Inner battle and struggle right now.  I always know that God has a plan, and whatever happens is in His plan.  So if anyone reads my dumb blog, know that I promise life will go back to normal after June 23.

Despite my crazy study schedule, I have gotten into a crazy little travel program with my hubs.  And we are loving it.  Gonna get to go to Jamaica with great friends in September and am stoked.  If you love to travel, and want to know more about getting cheap trips, I'm your girl.

Now, onto the meat and potatoes.  Me and chad are fabulous.  Love that man with all my heart.  He even sometimes gets into my crazy ideas to!  We tried paleo diet back in February... which is good food, but dang, options are so limited.  While you are making healthy choices, I do enjoy my fatty options every now and then and I can not... I repeat CAN NOT live without my potatoes.  A life without potatoes is meaningless, and I gotta add bacon in there to.

No life inspiration to offer today.  Just a litte about what's going on with the Dawkins.  Maybe I'll be more inspirational after a potato and bacon feast.  Gotta get back to the books now.

High Anxiety

Well hello there fellow bloggers.  Today's blog is entitled high anxiety for a reason.  I have a problem with high anxiety.  Now if any of you know me, you would think that I'm pretty laid back.  Quite the contrary in fact.  I'm laid back to an extent, but I do suffer from high anxiety.  Which has been a huge problem for me lately.

Most of my anxiety stems from a lack of self confidence and appreciation for myself.  I am constantly worrying I'm going to let my family or friends down.  Which triggers major anxiety in myself.  I always worry that when I mess up, people will stop calling, texting, writing, talking to me etc.  I know people make mistakes all the time, but I'm overly critical of myself.  To the point of ridiculousness!!!  I sometimes wish there was a magic pill I could take to rid myself of this anxiety, but I know there is not.  I just let it get the best of me!!!

I've heard meditation is a great way to deal with anxiety.  Today, I attempted to do so.  I'm not sure if I was successful in "freeing my mind," but I have to say it was very relaxing as I just tried concentrating on relaxing my body and breathing.  I feel some what better.  I think that with time this could become a great way to help control my anxiety.

I believe that it is very embarrassing to suffer from such anxiety.  I don't like sharing because I'm afraid people will think I'm nutso!  I hope people realize that I'm just like everyone else.  Everyone has issues they have to deal with.  I'm not crazy, just a little... okay a lot over-analytical.  (High strung as some people would call it)  I think my high stress job just may add to it a little bit.

To sum up.... I'm trying to overcome my fear letting people down to calm the anxiety in my life.  Guess what people, I may let you down sometimes.  It's never intentional, but it happens.  I hope that I don't disappoint you, but if I do, please remember that I'm human.  I make mistakes.  (Also remembering to tell myself that as well).  "Don't keep crying because of a mistake.  LEARN FROM IT and MOVE ON.  Stop blaming yourself over things that you have NO control over."

A year of Love

Well, could I be any less of a blogger?!  I've been bad about blogging, but I promise to get back into it!  There's just been so much going on this spring and summer that I've been taking the time to enjoy life and leaving the rest to whenever I get to it!  Whoops!

The reason I'm entitling this post a year of love, is that tomorrow, my husband and I will celebrate our one year anniversary!  What a year it's been!  Last year at this time, I was enjoying the company of family in town for the wedding and primping and prepping for the big day!  I look back on my wedding day VERY fondly!  I was surrounded by family and friends that I truly love and had literally the best day of my life!  It's been a year for sure.  After we came back to reality, I had a moment where I realized... "I have to live with a boy!!"

The first few months of marriage were definitely interesting!  It's quite an adjustment living with someone after you've lived by yourself for so long!  But the great thing is, I have an amazing husband who was willing to compromise and the last 8 months have been paradise!  Some days I wake up and can't believe how lucky I am that I've found such an amazing mate!

Funny story as this first year comes to a close.  We had the most delicious wedding cake (the one bite that we each got to have) at our wedding!  And after it was all over, we took the top of the cake home and put it in the freezer, like everyone does!  I know that everyone says "don't eat it, it tastes like cardboard," but darn it, I wanted my cardboard experience!  Well, back in February, we found out that the freezer we put the cake in had broken somewhere between August 26 and February 2013.  I opened the door to the freezer while we were cleaning and found a black, molded box.  I could not bear to look at the cake on the inside.  Quickly, I closed the door and tears filled up my pathetic eyeballs.  It was ruined!  Chad was very sympathetic and offered to get a new cake for our anniversary!  So, tonight, (because we are heading to the Dominican Republic in the morning), he offered to get us some cake to share!  What an awesome man!!

I've also titled this post a year of love because I've been able to spend more time with family.  In December of last year, my sweet aunt and uncle bought a house in Lubbock and it's been such a bonding experience for me.  My aunt has lived out of town all my life and to have her in Lubbock is such a joy!  It was also really fun doing demolition and helping her get her new house ready to live in... in 2 years!  Lol.  It's also been great getting to spend time with my cousins.  Growing up, we never really spent much time together because they were so much older and cooler than me!  I remember once when they were out with their friends and we were visiting, I went in one of their rooms and listen to a Wilson Phillips tape over and over again.  I thought I was so cool!  Now that we are all older, the age gap just seems to melt away and spending time with them and their families is so much fun.  Now, if only we could get Shelly Renee to move up to 806, the Williams gals would be complete!

Not only have I been able to reconnect with my aunt and cousins, but last night I also got to reconnect with my cousin Daniel.  There is not enough page for me to write what an amazing man this guy is!  We have known each other literally all our lives.  All the way back to the family reunions we used to attend as kids.  Again, him and his brother were way cooler than me and my brother, but it was so much fun to get to see them every year.  As time clicked by, the visits were few and far between, but it was always fun to get to seem him and his family.  I remember when he was in Law school and lived in Lubbock, we didn't hardly see each other, but I knew he had to devote most of his time to studying.  Even tough we didn't see each other much, it was awesome knowing that he was so close!  For those of you who don't know, after law school, we went into the JAG program in the military.  He served 2 tours overseas (long tours I might add), and he is now home.  Minus a weekend or 2 here and there to go do reserve training.  Last night we got the privlage of spending some time with him.  He seems so stinking happy right now and he looks like he is doing great!  We got to exchange stories and laughs and it was just an awesome time to get to spend with him.  I'm looking forward to coming back to visit again soon.  And I'm hoping to convince him that Lubbock is the place to be post SMU!

I'm overwhelmed with happiness and love in my life.  Despite glitches here and there, I think I've got a pretty sweet life!  I'm blessed with so much and am so grateful for all that I have in my life!  Fellow blogers, i blogg

Wemmicks

There are times in life when I feel like you have to step back and reevaluate what matters most in life.  I'm not sure if this is a once a year evaluation, or every few months, or every few years.  I believe that when life gets you down, it's time to look at what you're doing to make this life all it can be.

For me, I find that when I'm not taking the time to pray or spend time in the word, this is the time when I feel the most alone and really start to feel down.  I'm a spiritual person, and I believe that there has to be something bigger than me in this world.  It's how I get through my days.  But I find that when things are going well, I tend to drift back into old habits of, "all is well, why do I need to pray today."  This is what leads to my mediocre days and eventually back into a rut.  That's when I find myself taking a step back and wondering, "how did I end up back here again?"  I mean, is there anything worse than ending up somewhere that you didn't like in the first place?!

Tonight I found myself in prayer over recent struggles and things that I have no control over.  I feel like lately, I haven't been good enough for me or anyone else around.  Like I'm always striving to be perfect, but never quite reach that perfection in others eyes, or my own for that matter.  I'm my own worse critic.  But I'm doubly hard on myself in comparrison to others.  I want to be the best, which I don't think is conceeded or a bad view, but I have to remember that my best has to be good enough for me and that's all that really matters.  If I tried my hardest and feel that at the end of the day I gave my best, then I can rest knowing that I'm at my best.  God thinks my best is good enough, why can't I believe in myself like he does?!  I need to not worry so much about what everyone else thinks about me or my performance, because life isn't about walking on eggshells around everyone else.  Who wants to live their life like that?!

Which brings me to a book that I had long forgotten about and found in my box of inspirational books.  It's so small that I almost missed it, but I'm so glad I found it.  It's called "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  It follows the story of a Wemmick named Punchinello.  He spends his days getting "dotted" instead of "starred" by his fellow Wemmicks.  Until one day he meets a Wemmick with no dots or stars.  He decides this is how he wants to be to and finds the secret to true inner happiness.  Its's a beautiful child-like story that reminds us all that we are each special.  A quote that sticks out in this book is, "The stickers only stick if you let them."  I've decided that I'm not going to let the stickers stick anymore.  This is my reevaluation in my tough times.

Life isn't about being perfect, it's about being the best you can and knowing that it's good enough.  Sometimes, we just have to step back and remember this.

Bright lights

Well, as many of you know, I recently ran a half marathon in Las Vegas.  I have to say that it was one of the most awesome feelings in the world.  I mean, I have done a half marathon before, but running down the strip at night when it is all lit up is just one of those things that is exhilarating.  The lights of the Vegas strip illuminated the path and I had this dump of adrenaline that was incredible.  It fueled me to the finish line and it's an accomplishment that I'll never forget.  Though I did not make it to my goal of finishing in 2 hours and 45 minutes, I was only 3 minutes shy of this goal.  It's 21 minutes faster than my last half marathon, and it means that I will have to come back and try to defeat my old time!  I love Vegas so much that I may have to go back before the half marathon to scope out the course again!!

One thing that was awesome about visiting Vegas in december, is that the casinos were decorated with christmas decor for the holidays.  Ginormous Christmas trees, wreaths and other decor adorned the halls of these casinos.  I think in Vegas, it's go big or go home!!  Obviously.  I think there's a certain cheeriness in the air as well.  Everyone seemed a bit friendlier.  And the winnings were more abundant than they have been in the past.  Me and my hubby both came home with some money in out pockets!  It IS the most wonderful time of year everywhere!!

With that being said, I think one of my favorite things to do around the holidays is to go look at Christmas lights!  I think they are absolutely beautiful as each house tells a different story of the people who live there.  My most favorites are the "Griswald lit houses" with 10,000 sparkling, twinkling lights!  There is a house that I love to go by, it's close to my parent's house, that's on 66th and Ave. S.  It's got at least 8 Christmas trees, a farris wheel, a projection screen and tons of little knick knacks.  My inner child comes out and I feel like a kid again.  Like when Ralphie looks in the window at the red ryder BB gun at the toy store.  That's exactly how I feel.  I hope that this magic feeling is not dieing in our culture.  Sometimes I feel as though the Christmas spirit is really lost in buying stuff and rushing to get the holidays over with.  To me, Christmas is about the birth of Christ and the wonderful gift this world was given.  And spending as much time with family as you can.  Being with friends and laughing and remembering that this is the most wonderful time of year!  I definitely made some wonderful Christmas memories making Christmas candy with my mom, cousin, and her kids.  The family tradition of making date nut loaf has been passed on to me and my cousin, and I'm so excited to keep this tradition going as long as we can!

Well friends, there's only 13 days left till Christmas.  I got lots of shopping, cooking and spending time with family to do.  In case I don't post again till after the 25th, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Husky for the holidays

The most wonderful time of year is upon us, and you know what that means.  Holiday goodies and treats!  YUM!!  I'm a firm believer in that all constricting clothing should be banned from the beginning of November till the beginning of January.  (or maybe just in general!!)  The holidays are supposed to be about "letting it all hang out" and enjoying yourself.  No worrying about the holiday calories.  I've never had an indulgent carrot or a to die for salad.  And trust me, no one ever enjoyed seeing the spandex brought out during Christmas.  Know why Santa's suit is so loose fitting... because that fat jolly guy wants to enjoy his cookies and milk!  There's a reason Santa isn't a skinny guy.... it's the holidays that make him put on the weight!  He is the poster child for the inner fat kid in us all!!  Bring on the sweats!

With all this being said, since the beginning of November, I have gained 4 pounds.  And I have no intention of even thinking or trying to loose the pounds over the holidays.  I'm sure just gonna try and maintain, but definitely won't be depriving myself of my mother's delicious candies or my grandmother's delightful dishes at Christmas dinner!  I do find it rather odd that I've gained 4 pounds.  I've been training for a 1/2 marathon since September and doing most of my rough training this month.  Even did a long run while on vacation in little rock!  Ah well.... it's muscle right?!

So folks, remember.  As you deck your walls with jingle bells and decorate the tree with those homemade ornaments, it is ok to indulge yourself with treats and eats!  The holidays are for enjoying those things that we only get once a year.  That's what new year's resolutions are for right?!  Can't have something to work for next year if you've already done it this year!  So I will be maintaing husky for the holidays campaign and everyone is free to join!!

The cranberry bread and butter sauce is calling.... No way I'm not answering!!